Testing “The Secret” Part II

Since last week, the universe has not brought the book The Secret to me. It is my understanding that The Secret teaches the law of attraction and how we can attract the things we desire in life by attracting positive energy through positive thinking. So to test this theory, I will continue to focus positively on the book and see if I can get the universe to manifest The Secret into my life.

Last week, I also brought up the notion that we (human beings) should invent a sarcastic symbol or perhaps a sarcastic font. This would be especially helpful for text messaging and instant messaging purposes. I don’t know who invented text messaging but I am pretty sure it was not a man. I simply can not picture a man sitting around inventing a way to make communicating with women more confusing. <

I have dated *girls that read every text message I send in a sarcastic tone. A text message intended to be sweet and touching can become an argument based on the tone of the reader’s inner voice. “Why did you say I’m looking forward to seeing you like that?!” she would ask.  I didn’t say it anyway, it was a text message.  If we lived in a world with sarcastic font she would know the text message was sincere.

Perhaps a passive aggressive symbol would come in handy for the passive aggressives out there. When my roommates write things on our dry erase board (I call it the passive aggressive board) like “Thanks for not putting the dishes away” a passive aggressive symbol could really drive the point home. Without the passive aggressive symbol, I assume they are unhappy with the way I put the dishes away and I am happy to accept the gratitude.

My coworker Kathryn gave me a confusing gift it was called Spanish for Dummies. I think she thinks I am a dummy but at least she has faith in my ability to learn a language. Books for dummies should only be purchased solely by the dummy who intends to read it. Kathryn is a fan of wine so this year for her birthday I’m gonna surf over to betterworld.com and buy her The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wine Basics, 2nd Edition*

* I think that last sentence could use a passive aggressive symbol.
* Why is it that most women under 35 prefer to be called girls? I remember when I became a man. I was in high school and ordering a #4 at Subway and the sandwich artist looked at her coworker and said “Make that man’s food.” It was a big day in my life. I was no longer a boy. I was a man.

5 Comments

  1. I like the idea of a sarcastic font. They should have a version of the “all caps” button for the sarcastic font for your personal convenience and Kristina’s, too.

  2. Ayanna Grady says:

    You could use the good ol’ “*side eye*” for your sarcasm. You know, that look that you have right now? When you’re like, “What is a *side eye*??” Yep, you’re doing it. And you could use it as a stand in for the sarcasm font.

  3. THE SECRET WORKS!!!

    Thanks to the law of attraction, my positive thinking send a message to the universe and The Secret on cd manifested itself into my life. I’d like to thank fellow Better World Booker Catarina for letting me borrow her copy. The Secret works! I intend to listen to The Secret during my daily commute to work and let this journey begin.

    In the words of Navin Johnson from “The Jerk” “things are going to start happening to me now”

  4. We should have a polite “ahem” horn on cars also for the old lady whose digging through her purse or the business women putting on her make-up. So when they don’t immediatey see the green light we don’t have to go HOOONNNNKKK.
    You can also watch the Secret on the internet for $5. You manifest that piece of technology into your life everyday. Where’s my sarcastic symbol. :)

    DW Golden
    Fly with Fairies in Purple Butterflies, a new young adult novel now available at Amazon.com

  5. I like DW Golden.

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