Funds Raised for Global Literacy:
$4,856,147.00
Books Saved From Landfills:
13,498,011

Mensa Word List

Posted by Jack on 01.15.2009 at 11:04 am

[stolen from an email I received]:

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an _______ (you get the idea).

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Read more…

4 Comments » | Tagged Uncategorized, , , ,

Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky on: Lord of the Rings

Posted by Jack on 12.16.2008 at 5:18 pm

Even for those (or perhaps, most of all for those) who love an author with great scholarship and social critique, such as Howard Zinn or Noam Chomsky, the oft pedantic writing can become tiresome.  In times like those, I turn to McSweeney’s, where this spoof post brilliantly brings in both Zinn and Chomsky’s stylings while talking humorously about the awesomeness that is “The Lord of the Rings.”  

An excerpt for your reading pleasure:

CHOMSKY: Or pathways deprived of giant spiders. And what is Gandalf’s long-term solution to the crisis of the divided peoples of Middle Earth? To install a puppet king of questionable provenance while the Elves continue their slow withdrawal back to the West? Meanwhile, a couple of drunkard Hobbits stagger toward a volcano while carrying a worthless ring. Gandalf is venal, he is calculating, he is ruthless, but he is not stupid.

Read more…

1 Comment » | Tagged Uncategorized, , , , ,

Flabbergasted: Thanksgiving

Posted by Chip on 12.02.2008 at 9:59 am

I generally don’t eat mashed potatoes.

Still, every Thanksgiving I load up on mashed potatoes so I can play with them.  I always find myself sculpting faces into my mashed potatoes as I decide which side dishes I wish to devote my precious stomach room to:

Stomach Room = 80% Turkey/gravy +20% sides

Fear comes in the form of becoming full on Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving, I made some new discoveries. Cranberry sauce acts as a great pallet refresher and drinking wine with Thanksgiving dinner instead of milk allows you to both eat more and sleep sounder.

After three plates full of food and sculpting beautiful portraits of Katie Holmes and Barack Obama into my mashed potatoes, I was ready for a nap.
Read more…

2 Comments » | Tagged Flabbergasted, , , , ,

Flabbergasted: Macaroni and Cheese with Bacon

Posted by Chip on 11.23.2008 at 1:16 pm

A popular pizza chain recently introduced pasta to their menu options. In order to illustrate the quality of the product they advertised that a fine dining restaurant served their pasta and the customers loved it. One of their popular new pasta options is: macaroni and cheese with bacon.

In the commercial the people could not believe they were eating pasta they could have delivered to their front door for a mere 12 bucks. They had no idea that their meal had been a ruse. I think that they should Read more…

Have your say » | Tagged Flabbergasted, Uncategorized, , ,

Flabbergasted: Coffee Shop Strangers

Posted by Chip on 11.20.2008 at 2:10 pm

Hello my name is Chip.  I am an account representative for Better World
Books.  I moved to  Alpharetta, GA to begin my journey with Better
World Books.   Yesterday, I went to a coffee shop for two reasons:

1) They had free wi-fi

2) I wanted to make some new friends.

My plan went sour when I was informed by the coffee house wi-fi server
that I was not allowed to go to my intended website.   Apparently, the
company is against online dating.  I like online dating.

Online dating saves money.  (That is if you use a free dating site)

I am a bit of a value fan.  Some people say I am cheap but I
am not cheap. I am efficient.  I’m not going to say what coffee shop I
was in but I’ll give you a hint.  It is everywhere.
Plan A to meet people didn’t work.

Plan B
I was forced to attempt Read more…

2 Comments » | Tagged Flabbergasted, , , , , ,

Flabbergasted: Better World Books

Posted by Chip on 10.13.2008 at 12:44 pm

I have come to the right place. I understand the value of a book. I don’t keep my books on a book shelf.  I give them to the next person I feel truly deserves the book.  The only thing better then a good book is finding the next person who truly deserves the book.

Who will fully appreciate the brilliance of this book?  It’s not until someone says that right thing at that right time that it strikes me. You would appreciate this book. You have proven yourself worthy.  You deserve my book.

When I hear a guy go on about a girl, song, and movie in one breath, I know he deserves to read High Fidelity.  When some Dude says “I feel like the only manly thing I do is open jars and replace the water cooler jug in the office,” I say you deserve to read Fight Club.

Some people appreciate geysers. Some people are fascinated by geysers. I spent a summer working in Yellowstone National Park and I saw Old Faithful.  Watching Old Faithful erupt is like watching water shoot out of the ground.  It just didn’t appreciate the science and the reliability of the matter.
Read more…

2 Comments » | Tagged Flabbergasted, Uncategorized, , , , ,

Epic Dragonboat Showdown in Niles Michigan

Posted by Jack on 08.28.2008 at 2:18 pm

You’ve heard of them, Jordan’s Bulls, Montana’s 49ers, Gretzky’s Oilers, Bird’s Celtics, Magic’s Lakers, the teams that any player hates to play because they know the odds are against them because that other team of stars is going to play all out until the buzzer sounds.  At Riverfest in Niles Michigan, in the Dragon Boat Races, the town of Niles is that team.  Reaping both the benefits of home [river] advantage and a team comprised of grizzly veterans and new rising talent, the deck was stacked against any competition.  Niles is known for both experienced play and a solid farm system, bringing refined talent to the adult level from the highly competitive youth races.  The Niles High School Band would hold up that dominance in the youth league, but in the adult race, change was in the air.



 Better World Books came to Riverfest to sell books and engage in a great festival, they came to put a creatively designed float in the water, but most of all they came to win.  Like a rookie in battle who is too ignorant to know to fear a war champion, Better World Books was the lowly infantry man to Niles’ Achilles; but unlike the lofty Greek, Niles had no perceivable weakness.  Better World Books would have to simply be the better team.



 Murmurs spread around the festival all day of a young upstart team, made up of heart and absolutely no talent whatsoever, a bookish crowd with warehouse tans that would take on the Olympic level competition of the iron-fisted Niles crowd.  Could the tiny Better World Books boat stand against the wrath of the Dragon Boat embodiment of Posiedon himself?

The race started close, jitters clearly affecting Better World Books as the Viking like warriors of Niles stroked even and true.  But slowly something changed.  Cows lay down when it is going to rain–they just feel it in the air and react–so when all of the kids stopped playing and went to watch the river, the prescience of the youth was palpable; victory would be a cruel mistress today.

Only a few meters left, rowing beyond their own abilities, infused with the spirit of Michael Phelps, the scrappy squad of ARC stud, Jorge Fragoso, Howard Roark-esque architect Jaime Knabet, superstar receiver, Javier Castro and hard hitting Maintenance standout David Sherwood were joined by the husband and wife Majerek in an epic throwdown.   Also, Better World Books saw promise in a few Niles folks who were left off the famed squad.  It was those few crew members, the rejects, who had become the proverbial cornerstones of the squad.  With this group they would stand strong, crushing through the ripples of the river and the mighty approach of the heroes of Niles, Michigan.


Better World Books: Ballerific

 Life moves on, and as Herodotus said, “You can never step in the same river twice.”  Jordan has retired and Montana is in the booth, and Niles, Michigan is left scratching their heads as to how a small upstart company came in and simultaneously sold books while taking the checkered flag at their own flagship event.  Will they ever recover or are the nouveau riche of the Dragon Boat circuit set to become the next giants of the Mitten State scene?  Only time will tell, but the pantheon of great teams will truly never be the same.

Have your say » | Tagged Dispatches from the Green House, , , , ,

Burn Calories by Reading!

Posted by admin on 12.03.2007 at 7:03 am

Just before Thanksgiving, I received a forward that read “The average person consumes 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving Day”.  This got me thinking about what I would need to do to counter all those extra calories.  Hint: it will not include portion control.

With the holidays around the corner, I guess my Christmas wish list could include new running shoes or some sort of ab blaster but why torture myself when I can do something I really enjoy?  Did you know that you can burn Calories just by reading?  It’s true I read it online and I burned a calorie doing it too.  So I crunched the numbers and at my weight, I will only need to read for 2800 hours to offset this past Thanksgiving dinner!  Well I guess my Christmas list just got condensed to just BetterWorld.com and since it is open 24/7, there will be plenty of time for my family and friends to get my Christmas gifts.  Happy shopping!

Have your say » | Tagged Uncategorized, , ,

What in Blazes is a B Corporation?

Posted by King on 11.29.2007 at 10:55 am

You may have heard, Better World Books was recently announced as “B Corporation”.

You may also have heard the fancy business jargon:  “With the certification, Better World Books joins a growing international network of purpose-driven businesses dedicated to setting a new standard for social and environmental performance, creating benefit for all stakeholders, not just shareholders.”

How ironic, a statement that explains how B corporations are different from a standard “C Corporation”, but uses the same confusing business-speak to do so.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have a business degree, and I respect and understand the need for very specific language and multi syllabic nomenclature in order to be effective within the business world;  however, I also understand how corporate vernacular can sound ridiculous to the average human being.

So lets break it down for  a second.  Capitalism itself has a bad reputation to many people.  You hear “Capitalism”, you think “big evil corporation exploiting people”. And  then you hear things like “the best way to make your operation more robust is by improving your economies of scale“, and you think “who actually talks like that?”.  ( I will admit, I occasionally speak like that) But let’s face it, Capitalism itself is powerful.  What if we could harness this power, and use it for good?

Well, that’s what it means to be  B Corporation.  The power of Business, the intention of goodness.  It’s like using a Hybrid cars made out of recycled parts to deliver meals on wheels to hungry people.

Or in our case, it is selling books to promote literacy.

You may have noticed that I used the word “ironic” a couple paragraphs up here.  Being that we are all about literacy, I feel compelled to clear up how this word is often misused.  Many people have said “that is ironic”, when they actually meant to say “that is humorous”, or “that is unfortunate”.  Irony means  achieving a result that is the opposite of your intentions.  The best example is Oedipus, from Greece.  He was given a prophecy that he would someday kill his father and marry is mother.  Clearly, that is not something he would want to happen… so he moved far away.  As a result of his departure, he ended up not even recognizing his parents later in life, and (SPOILER ALERT!! Stop reading if you do not want to know the fate of Oedipus) he ended up in fact killing his father and marrying his mother.  Poor Oedipus.

Now, I could say “how ironic that I warned you of ’spoiling’” the Oedipus story.  But that would be wrong.  It is not ironic at all, just humorous that I would use a spoiler alert to protect you  from learning the end of a story that has been around for millions of years*, when typically spoiler alerts are only used for new stories.

In Summary:
1. Better World Books is proud to be a B Corporation.
2. B Corportions are awesome.
3. Irony is a powerful literay device if used properly, but with great power comes great responsibility.
4. Times were tough in Ancient Greece

*Hyperbole used for effect.

Have your say » | Tagged Uncategorized, ,

Shop BetterWorldBooks.com