Introducing Better Mars Books

Better Mars Books

Better World Books is expanding!  We’re happy to announce the grand opening of our new website,

In our ongoing effort to promote literacy efforts, we’re looking ahead to new markets, and we believe that we can make a huge impact on the planet Mars.

Why Mars?
With efforts going so well here on Earth, why bother moving our business to the Red Planet?  Well, there are a few reasons…

  • All studies ever conducted on the subject show that Literacy rates on Mars are below that of Earth — fertile ground for our social mission.
  • There are currently no other booksellers that cater to the region, so we would be first to market.
  • Shipping to Mars is costly to say the least.  However, the carbon emissions from rocket fuel are a non-issue in the infinite void of space, dropping Carbon Offset costs to zero.
  • The Martian year is almost twice as long as an Earth year, which would give us that much more time to achieve our quarterly goals.
  • Mars has two moons, so that’s double the moonlight to read by.  Sadly, however, they are expected to crash into the planet’s surface within the next 50 million years, so you can see why we’re motivated to get started now while we have the opportunity.

What’s New?
A couple of facets of our unique business model will have to be adapted for interplanetary commerce.  Among these tweaks:

  • The Martian-language version of our website is still in progress. We’re still working out the nuances of the language (Idioms and telepathic inflection are particularly tough to translate), but it should be complete later this (Mars-) year.
  • Shipments from Earth to Mars will start at the low rate of $522,300 per book. However, given that the distance between Mars and Earth can be anywhere between 55 million km and 400 million km depending on orbit cycles, we recommend putting orders in as early as possible.  (Mars orders for Christmas 2014 should be placed immediately.)  Expediting a Mars order will be an additional 3 trillion galactic credits (About $1099 USD given current exchange rates).  Additionally, space piracy and scouting parties from the Blärgáxian Empire may also delay some orders.
  • Donation bins will only be located in terraformed regions of Mars.  Fortunately, our green bins will stand out against the barren, rust-colored rock-scape.  (Note: If you are used to Earth gravity, please donate your books slowly to keep from knocking over the bins.)

Please join us in welcoming our first interplanetary literacy partner, Read Planet.  After a thorough vetting process (just barely edging out other organizations such as Total Read-call and Mars Attacks Books), we are confident that they are fully devoted to promoting Martian literacy.

At Better Mars Books, we’re looking forward to flabbergasting the Martian public with our low prices, economic sustainability, and our commitment to literacy efforts from the inert slopes of Olympus Mons to the scenic canyons of the Valles Marineris.

And as always, thanks for your support as we supply our new market with better books… for a better Mars!

View the official press release.

2-April-2010 Addition: Screenshot of on 1-April (click image to enlarge)

Better Mars Books Home Page Screenshot


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *