Hands-Free Books: Read Anywhere.

Hand-holding is so 2011.No doubt about it: the life of the 21st century working person is a busy one, and finding equilibrium between one’s career and life can be a real balancing act.  Even today’s young people are feeling the pressure of a tight schedule.  (Recent studies show that top Outlook calendar entries among 6-year-olds read, for example, “Grab some face-time with Billy” and “Conf. call @ monkeybars.”)

Thus we face the question: Living life at a pace like this, when can we find time to read?

The Better World Books R&D team, working out of our vast underground laboratories and testing facilities in northern Indiana and doing a mess of science down there, has finally come up with a viable answer: Hands-Free Books.

Extensive research showed that manual preoccupation was the major factor keeping readers from multi-tasking effectively.  And thanks to our innovative new Facefloat™* technology, you can keep your open book at eye level at any time.  With your hands free to do anything else, your book-reading experience can extend into many other activities, like:

  • Eating meals such as breakfast or brunch.
  • Operating heavy machinery.
  • Practicing your javelin throw.
  • Watching television.
  • Doing push-ups.
  • Painting.
  • Checking email.
  • Piloting a spacecraft.
  • Jogging on a treadmill or sidewalk.
  • Taming wild animals.  (Leopard Print or Circus Stripe models both available soon.)

 

Of course, there were some experiments that didn’t work out — such is the way of progress.  In determining the most efficient way to make this experience possible, we had to close down our quantum entanglement division (too tangly), and our cloning research team had to cease operations due to an unfavorable audit by the Cloning Regulations Board. (It’s fine; there’s more where they came from.)

And in the spirit of full disclosure, you may experience some glitches with the first series of Hands-Free Books.  Some users (up to but not exceeding all users) have reported a bug in which there is no functionality designed to turn the pages without the use of the customer’s hands, thus rendering the entire concept pointless from a certain point of view.  This is a known issue and we plan to have it hammered out with the release of Hands-Free Books version 2.0.

In the meantime, please enjoy your Hands-Free Books and know that you were one of the first — and, who knows?  Maybe last — owners of this industry-changing product. Find out more here and preorder yours today.

Hands-free books: Read anywhere.

*Not actually ™’d.  At least not by us.  In fact, it might even be ™’d by someone else.  Don’t tell them about this.

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